Question number one is: “What exactly is premature ejaculation and how do I know if I have it?”. Premature ejaculation is commonly defined as an ejaculation within two minutes into intercourse. In fact, some men are prone to ejaculating as soon as penetration occurs or within a few seconds. While two minutes is a common benchmark, the crux of the issue goes beyond just relying on a specific duration. A man has premature ejaculation, if he cannot last long enough to satisfy his partner. Every relationship is unique. So what is long enough for one couple may not be sufficient for another. What you should also understand is this: because it takes women more time to get aroused, your ability to last long enough will increase the chances of you giving her a vaginal orgasm during intercourse.
Between 30 to 40 percent of men suffer from early ejaculation. So if you’re finishing too fast right now, rest assured you are not alone. In fact, most men will experience early ejaculation at least a few times in their lives.
Now let’s move on to question number two: “Why do I ejaculate too quick?”. There are a few factors that cause early ejaculation, but the most common are due to a man’s failure to recognize the sensations that proceed an ejaculation and then associate those sensations with specific benchmarks along his arousal curve, when he still has control. Once you become familiar with your ejaculatory threshold, you can learn when to stop stimulation, or to allow yourself to slide back down the arousal curve, before resuming stimulation again.
Premature ejaculation often takes place in two ways. One, when our partners initiate sexual stimulation, or two when we become overly aroused and any extra friction or movement of our penis pushes us beyond the point of no return.
The key to enhancing your ejaculatory control thus has two facets. First, recognizing and then communicating to your partner, when you are about to ejaculate, so that she can stop stimulation immediately. And second, knowing when your arousal has subsided enough, that you can start penetration again.
There are specific powerful exercises you can practice with your partner, that will train you to consciously recognize two things: when you’re about to climax yet can still stop it from occurring and when you have reached the point of no return. These two benchmarks have particular sensations that you need to learn to recognize. Once you are able to identify both benchmarks, practice moving the first benchmark closer to the second, which is your ejaculatory trigger point. With some practice and awareness, you will be able to place the two benchmarks side-by-side. This will intensify your pleasure while giving you complete control over your orgasm.
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All right, question number three: “How long should sex last ideally?”. The straight answer – as long as it takes for your partner to reach an orgasm first. Unlike most men, women are biologically wired to respond very slowly to physical sexual stimulation. Many studies have revealed that women find penetrative sex that lasts from 3 to 7 minutes to be satisfactory and 8 to 13 minutes to be the most desirable.